The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.
Jizz and jet
shoot and scoot
blow your load and hit the road
accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback
if i was your boyfriend i would do so much cute stuff. i’d bring you soup when you were feeling sick, i’d rub your tummy when you got cramps, i’d wake you up in the middle of the night dressed as an eagle shouting abstract poetry at my own dick
So I’m guessing you abstain from ever using paper, since it was, of course, invented in China during the Han Dynasty, right? I mean, you couldn’t possibly be a Chinese person from the 2nd century.
So next time you want to send me cowardly anonymous hatemail, please do so by picking up the nearest rock and bashing against your own head, you goddamn dipshit.
We’re all born with scars. From the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, and we all share that same mark.
if anyone wants me to explain what an ‘anticlimax’ is, i’ll show them this text post